The Gurt Mikado, Live at The Colston Hall, 2nd Feb. 2013. Featuring Opera Anywhere & Bristol Schools Philharmonia

by Gurt Lush Choir

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about

Possibly the biggest Mikado production ever. Full symphony orchestra. Chorus of 200. As a live 'one night only' event, featuring a youth orchestra & unauditioned chorus, this is not the most polished recording of the Mikado that you will find. Nonetheless a great day in our choir's history, & I dare to believe that Sullivan would have been delighted to hear his full score so amply backed by the mighty Gurt Lush Chorus.
All credit to the children of Bristol Schools Philharmonia, the soloists of Opera Anywhere & guest M.D. Mark Finch, for pulling the whole thing together on one single mass rehearsal, the day of the performance itself.
Clips on YouTube, if you'd like to add more images to the soundscape!
Concert organised, financed & promoted by Bristol Gurt Lush Choir.

credits

released March 2, 2013

Guest M.D, Mark Finch. Chorus Master, Sam Burns. Theatrical Director, Paula Chitty. The remarkable soloists of Opera Anywhere:
The Mikado/Pish-Tush Edwin Pitt Mansfield
Nanki-Poo Lawrence Olsworth-Peter
Ko-Ko Mike Woodward
Pooh-Bah David Ireland
Katisha Vanessa Woodward
Yum-Yum Paloma Bruce
Pitti-Sing Sarah-Ann Cromwell
Peep-Bo Katie Blackwell
Ping-Pong Sian Millett

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license

all rights reserved

about

Gurt Lush Choir Bristol, UK

The Gurt Lush Choir was founded in October 2009. Within 2 years it grew to over 200 members, & is now one of the largest choirs in the country.
The choir sings all styles of music, & is proud to perform regularly at The Colston Hall. (Bristol, UK)
We still have room for more members & rehearse weekly in St Andrews, Redland & Southville. No Audition. 3 Free Taster sessions for all!
... more

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Track Name: If you want to know who we are
If you want to know who we are,
We are gentlemen of Japan:
On many a vase and jar —
On many a screen and fan,
We figure in lively paint:
Our attitude's queer and quaint —
You're wrong if you think it ain't
Ooooh!

If you think we are worked by strings,
Like a Japanese marionette,
You don't understand these things:
It is simply Court etiquette.
Perhaps you suppose this throng
Can't keep it up all day long?
If that's your idea, you're wrong,
Ooooh! Ooooh!
If that's your idea, you're wrong

If you want to know who we are,
We are gentlemen of Japan:
On vase and jar,
On screen and fan,
On many, many, many, many,
Many, many, many, many, a jar,
Ooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh!
On vase and jar,
On screen and fan.
Track Name: Gentlemen, I pray you tell me
[Enter Nanki-Poo in great excitement.
He carries a native guitar on his back
and a bundle of ballads in his hand]

(Nanki-Poo:)
Gentlemen, I pray you tell me
Where a gentle maiden dwelleth,
Named Yum-Yum, the ward of Ko-Ko?
In pity speak, oh speak I pray you!

(A Noble:)
Why, who are you who ask this question?

(Nanki-Poo:)
Come gather round me, and I'll tell you.
Track Name: A wand'ring minstrel, I
(Nanki-Poo:)
A wandering minstrel I —
A thing of shreds and patches,
Of ballads, songs and snatches,
And dreamy lullaby!
My catalogue is long,
Through every passion ranging,
And to your humours changing
I tune my supple song!
I tune my supple song!

Are you in sentimental mood?
I'll sigh with you,
Oh, sorrow, sorrow!
On maiden's coldness do you brood?
I'll do so, too —
Oh, sorrow, sorrow!
I'll charm your willing ears
With songs of lovers' fears,
While sympathetic tears
My cheeks bedew —
Oh, sorrow, sorrow!

But if patriotic sentiment is wanted,
I've patriotic ballads cut and dried;
For where'er our country's banner may be planted,
All other local banners are defied!
Our warriors, in serried ranks assembled,
Never quail — or they conceal it if they do —
And I shouldn't be surprised if nations trembled
Before the mighty troops of Titipu!

(Chorus:)
We shouldn't be surprised if nations trembled,
Trembled with alarm
Before the mighty troops,
The troops of Titipu!

(Nanki-Poo:)
And if you call for a song of the sea,
We'll heave the capstan round,
With a yeo heave ho, for the wind is free,
Her anchor's a-trip and her helm's a-lee,
Hurrah for the homeward bound!

(Chorus:)
Yeo-ho — heave ho —
Hurrah for the homeward bound!

(Nanki-Poo:)
To lay aloft in a howling breeze
May tickle a landsman's taste,
But the happiest hour a sailor sees
Is when he's down
At an inland town,
With his Nancy on his knees, yeo ho!
And his arm around her waist!

(Chorus:)
Then man the capstan — off we go,
As the fiddler swings us round,
With a yeo heave ho,
And a rum below,
Hurrah for the homeward bound!
With a yeo heave ho,
And a rum below,
Yeo-ho, heave ho,
Yeo-ho, heave ho,
Heave ho, heave ho, yeo-ho!

(Nanki-Poo:)
A wandering minstrel I —
A thing of shreds and patches,
Of ballads, songs and snatches,
And dreamy lullaby!

(Chorus:)
Of dreamy lullaby,
Lullaby! Lullaby!
Track Name: Our great Mikado, virtuous man
(Pish-Tush:)
Our great Mikado, virtuous man,
When he to rule our land began,
Resolved to try
A plan whereby
Young men might best be steadied.
So he decreed, in words succinct,
That all who flirted, leered or winked
(Unless connubially linked),
Should forthwith be beheaded,
Beheaded, beheaded,
Should forthwith be beheaded.
And I expect you'll all agree
That he was right to so decree.
And I am right,
And you are right,
And all is right as right can be!

(Chorus:)
And you are right.
And we are right,
And all is right, is right as right can be!
(Pish-Tush & Chorus:)
And all is right as right can be,
Right as right can be!

(Pish-Tush:)
This stem decree, you'll understand,
Caused great dismay throughout the land!
For young and old
And shy and bold
Were equally affected.
The youth who winked a roving eye,
Or breathed a non-connubial sigh,
Was thereupon condemned to die —
He usually objected,
Objected, objected,
He usually objected.
And you'll allow, as I expect,
That he was right to so object.
And I am right,
And you are right,
And everything is quite correct!

(Chorus:)
And you are right,
And we are right,
And everything is quite, is quite correct!
(Pish-Tush & Chorus:)
And everything is quite correct,
All is quite correct!

(Pish-Tush:)
And so we straight let out on bail
A convict from the county jail,
Whose head was next
On some pretext
Condemned to be mown off,
And made him Headsman, for we said,
"Who's next to be decapited
Cannot cut off another's head
Until he's cut his own off,
His own off, his own off,
Until he's cut his own off."
And we are right, I think you'll say,
To argue in this kind of way;
And I am right,
And you are right,
And all is right — too-loo-ral-lay!

(Chorus:)
And you are right,
And we are right,
And all is right — too-loo-ral, loo-ral-lay!
(Pish-Tush & Chorus:)
And you are right,
And we are right,
And all is right!
Track Name: Young man, despair
(Pooh-Bah:)
Young man, despair,
Likewise go to,
Yum-Yum the fair
You must not woo.
It will not do:
I'm sorry for you,
You very imperfect ablutioner!
This very day
From school Yum-Yum
Will wend her way,
And homeward come,
With a beat of drum
And a rum-tum-tum,
To wed the Lord High Executioner!
And the brass will crash,
And the trumpets bray,
And they'll cut a dash
On their wedding day.
She'll toddle away, as all aver,
With the Lord High Executioner!

(Nanki-Poo & Pish-Tush:)
And the brass will crash,
And the trumpets bray,
And they'll cut a dash
On their wedding day.
(All:)
She'll toddle away, as all aver,
With the Lord High Executioner!

(Pooh-Bah:)
It's a hopeless case,
As you may see,
And in your place
Away I'd flee;
But don't blame me —
I'm sorry to be
Of your pleasure a diminutioner.
They'll vow their pact
Extremely soon,
In point of fact
This afternoon.
Her honeymoon
With that buffoon
At seven commences, so you shun her!
And the brass will crash,
And the trumpets bray,
And they'll cut a dash
On their wedding day.
She'll toddle away, as all aver,
With the Lord High Executioner!

(Nanki-Poo & Pish-Tush:)
And the brass will crash,
And the trumpets bray,
And they'll cut a dash
On their wedding day.
(All:)
She'll toddle away, as all aver,
With the Lord High Executioner!
Track Name: And have I journey'd for a month
Nanki-Poo:
And have I journeyed for a month, or nearly,
To learn that Yum-Yum, whom I love so dearly,
This day to Ko-Ko is to be united!

Pooh-Bah:
The fact appears to be as you've recited:
But here he comes, equipped as suits his station,
He'll give you any further information.
Track Name: Behold the Lord High Executioner!
(Chorus:)
Behold the Lord High Executioner
A personage of noble rank and title —
A dignified and potent officer,
Whose functions are particularly vital!
Defer, defer,
To the Lord High Executioner!
Defer, defer,
To the noble Lord, to the noble Lord,
To the Lord High Executioner!

[Enter Ko-Ko attended.]

(Ko-Ko:)
Taken from the county jail
By a set of curious chances;
Liberated then on bail,
On my own recognizances;
Wafted by a favouring gale
As one sometimes is in trances,
To a height that few can scale,
Save by long and weary dances;
Surely, never had a male
Under such like circumstances
So adventurous a tale,
Which may rank with most romances.
(Ko-Ko & Chorus:)
Taken from the county jail
(Taken from the county jail)
By a set of curious chances;
(Liberated then on bail)
Surely, never had a male
(Surely, never had a male)
So adventurous a tale.
(So adventurous a tale.)

(Chorus:)
Defer, defer,
To the Lord High Executioner!
Defer, defer,
To the noble Lord,
To the noble Lord High Executioner!
Bow down, bow down,
To the Lord High Executioner!
Defer, defer,
To the noble, noble Lord,
To the High Executioner!
Track Name: As some day it may happen
(Ko-Ko:)
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list — I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who call you on the phone,
to ask you if you'd like to make improvements to your home,
or answer when you call to say your bill is far too high.
You think that they're in Bristol but they're really in Bombai,
And all who next on putting you on hold will then insist.
They'd none of them be missed.
They'd none of them be missed.

(Chorus)
He's got 'em on the list,
He's got 'em on the list,
and they'll none of them be missed.
They'll none of them be missed.
(Ko-Ko)
There's the fast food consumer and the others in that place,
whose stuffing does not cease,
they're sure to be obese.
And people who eat fish and chips and burp it in your face,
they never would be missed,
they never would be missed.
Then the idiot who shouts aloud with enthusiastic tone,
all night in the High Streets, the county up and down,
and the hoodie who wears baggy jeans with undies hanging out,
who's never done a day of work, he's simply just a lout.
And that annoying phenomenon, Lord Sugar's apprentice,
He's top of my list,
He never would be missed.

(Chorus)
He's got 'em on the list,
He's got 'em on the list,
and they'll none of them be missed.
They'll none of them be missed.
(Ko-Ko)
And those supermarket giants who con us with cheap tosh,
I'm sure you get my gist,
I've got 'em on my list.
They're closing our town centres and we're running our of dosh,
they're not on my shopping list,
I'll show them my big fist.
With economy beef burgers that you find in Tesco shops,
I ate one yesterday and it's given me the trots.
And those beautiful Bristolians who say such funny words,
Like 'Gurt Lush', 'daps' & 'guffed' & 'ark at ee' & 'turds'.
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

(Chorus:)
He's got 'em on the list,
He's got 'em on the list,
and they'll none of them be missed.
They'll none of them be missed.

N.B. Economy Burgers gag relates to a 'horse meat found in Tesco Burgers' scandal, which happened a couple of days before the gig.
Track Name: Comes a train of little ladies
(Chorus of schoolgirls:)
Comes a train of little ladies
From scholastic trammels free,
Each a little bit afraid is,
Wondering what the world can be!

Is it but a world of trouble —
Sadness set to song?
Is its beauty but a bubble
Bound to break ere long?

Are its palaces and pleasures
Fantasies that fade?
And the glory of its treasures
Shadow of a shade?
And the glory of its treasures
Shadow of a shade?
Shadow of a shade?

Schoolgirls we, eighteen and under,
From scholastic trammels free,
And we wonder — how we wonder! —
We wonder — how we wonder! —
What on earth the world can be!
What on earth the world can be!
Track Name: Three little maids from school
Three little maids from school are we
Pert as a school girl can be
Filled to the brim with girlish glee
Three little maids from school

Everything is a source of fun
Nobody's safe for we care for none
Life is a joke that's just begun
Three little maids from school

Three Little maids who all unwary
Come from a lady's semnary
free from his genius tutalary
Three little maids from school
Three little maids from school!

One little maid is the bride Yum-Yum
Two little maids in attendance come
Three little maids is the total sum
Three little maids from school

From three little maids take one away
Two little maids remain and they
Don't have to wait very long they say
Three little maids from school
(Chorus)
Three little maids from school
Three Little maids who all unwary
come from a lady's semnary
Free from his genius tutalary
Three little maids from school
Three little maids from school!
Track Name: So please you, Sir
(Yum-Yum, Peep-Bo & Pitti-Sing:)
So please you, Sir, we much regret
If we have failed in etiquette
Towards a man of rank so high —
We shall know better by and by.

(Yum-Yum:)
But youth, of course, must have its fling,
So pardon us,
So pardon us,

(Pitti-Sing:)
And don't, in girlhood's happy spring,
Be hard on us,
Be hard on us,
If we're inclined to dance and sing,
Tra la la la la la.

(Yum-Yum, Peep-Bo & Pitti-Sing:) [dancing]
But youth, of course, must have its fling,
So pardon us,
And don't, in girlhood's happy spring,
Be hard on us

(Chorus:)
Tra la la la la la,
Tra la la la la la,
Tra la la la la la,
Tra la la la la la,
But youth, of course, must have its fling,
So pardon us,

(Chorus & three maids:)
Tra la la la la la la,
La la!
Tra la la la la la la,
La la!
Tra la la la la la la,
La la!
Tra la la la la,
La la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la la,la, la,
La!

(Pooh-Bah:)
I think you ought to recollect
You cannot show too much respect
Towards the highly titled few;
But nobody does, and why should you?
That youth at us should have its fling,
Is hard on us,
Is hard on us;
To our prerogative we cling —
So pardon us,
So pardon us,
If we decline to dance and sing.
Tra la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la
[Dancing]

(Yum-Yum, Peep-Bo & Pitti-Sing:) [dancing]
But youth, of course, must have its fling,
So pardon us,
And don't, in girlhood's happy spring,
Be hard on us,

(Chorus:]
But youth, of course, must have its fling,
So pardon us,

(All:)
Tra la la la la la la,
La la!
Tra la la la la la la,
La la!
Tra la la la la la la,
La la!
Tra la la la la,
La la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la la,la, la,
La!
Track Name: Were you not to Ko-Ko plighted
Nanki-Poo:
Were you not to Ko-Ko plighted,
I would say in tender tone,
"Loved one, let us be united —
Let us be each other's own!"
I would merge all rank and station,
Worldly sneers are nought to us,
And, to mark my admiration,
I would kiss you fondly thus —

Both:
I/He would kiss you/me fondly thus —

Yum-Yum:
But as I'm engaged to Ko-Ko,
To embrace you thus, con fuoco,
Would distinctly be no gioco,
And for yam I should get toco —
Http://www.free-lyrics.org

Yum-Yum:
Toco,
Toco,
Toco,
Toco,
Toco!
Nanki-Poo:
Toco,
Toco,
Toco,
Toco,
Toco!

Nanki-Poo:
So, In spite of all temptation,
Such a theme I'll not discuss,
And on no consideration
Will I kiss you fondly thus —
Will I kiss you fondly thus —
Let me make it clear to you,
This is what I'll never do!
This, oh, this,
Oh, this,
Oh, this, —
This is what I'll never, never do!

Yum-Yum:
This, oh, this —
Oh, this —
Oh, this —
This,
He'll never do!
He'll never do!
This is what he'll never, never do!

Nanki-Poo:
This, oh, this —
Oh, this —
Oh, this —
This is what I'll never do!
I'll never do!
Oh, this —
This is what I'll never, never do!
Track Name: I am so proud
Pooh-Bah.
I am so proud,
If I allowed
My family pride
To be my guide,
I'd volunteer
To quit this sphere
Instead of you
In a minute or two,
But family pride
Must be denied,
And set aside,
And mortified,
And mortified.


Ko-Ko.
My brain it teams
With endless schemes
Both good and new
For Titipu,
For Titipu;
But if I flit,
The benefit
That I'd diffuse
The town would lose!
Now every man
To aid his clan
Should plot and plan
As best he can.

Pish-Tush.
I heard one day
A gentleman say
That criminals who
Are cut in two
Can hardly feel
The fatal steel,
And so are slain
Are slain without much pain.
If this is true,
It's jolly for you;
Your courage screw
To bid us adieu.

Pish-Tush. Ko-Ko. Pooh-Bah.
My brain it I am so proud, If
I heard one day, A teams With endless I allowed My
gentleman say That criminals who schemes Both good and new For family pride To
Are cut in two Can hardly feel Titipu, For Titipu; But if I be my guide, I'd
The fatal steel, And so are slain, are flit, The benefit That I'd volunteer To
slain Without much pain.If this is diffuse The town would lose! Now quit this sphere
true, It's jolly for you; Your courage every man To aid his clan Should Instead of you, In a
screw To bid us adieu. plot and plan As best he can. minute or two.

Ko-Ko.
And so,
Although
I'm ready to go,
Yet recollect
'Twere disrespect
Did I neglect
To thus effect
This aim direct,
So I object —

Pooh-Bah.
And so,
Although
I wish to go,
And greatly pine
To brightly shine,
And take the line
Of a hero fine,
With grief condign
I must decline.

Pish-Tush.
And go
And show
Both friend and foe
How much you dare.
I'm quite aware
It's your affair.
Yet I declare
I'd take your share,
But I don't much care.

Pish-Tush. Ko-Ko. Pooh-Bah.
I'd take your share, So I object — I must decline —
But I don't much care, So I object — I must decline —
I'd take your share,
But I don't much care, So I object — I must decline —
I'd take your share,
But I don't much care, much care, So I object — I must decline —
I don't much care, So I object — I must decline —
I don't much care, So I object — I must decline —



All Three.
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
A dull, dark dock, a life-long lock,
A short, sharp shock, a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a pestilential prison,
And awaiting the sensation
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
Track Name: Finale Act I
Poo-Bah: To ask you what you mean to do,
We punctually appear.

Ko-Ko: Congratulate me, gentlemen,
I've found a volunteer!

Chorus: The Japanese equivalent for "Hear, hear hear!"

Ko-Ko: 'Tis Nanki-Poo.

Chorus: Hail, Nanki-Poo!

Ko-Ko: I think he'll do.

Chorus: Yes, yes he'll do.

Ko-Ko: He yields his life if I Yum-Yum surrender.
Now I adore that girl with passion tender
And could not yield her with a ready will,
Or her allot, if I did not
Adore myself with passion tenderer still.
With passion tenderer still.

Chorus: Ah, yes, he loves himself with passion tenderer still.

Ko-Ko: Take her. She's yours.


Nanki-Poo: The threatened cloud has passed away
Yum-Yum: And brightly shines the dawning day.
NP: What though the night may come too soon
YY: There's yet a month of afternoon.

Chorus: Then let the throng our joy advance,
With laughing song and merry dance.
With joyous shout, with joyous shout and ringing cheer
Inaugurate, inaugurate their brief career!

Poo-Bah: As in a month, you've got to die
If Ko-Ko tells us true, 'twere empty compliment to cry.
"Long Life to Nanki-Poo!"
But as one month you have to live as fellow citizen,
This toast with three times three we'll give --
Long life, long life to you.
Long life to you till then.

Chorus: May all good fortune prosper you.
May you have health, may you have health and riches too.
May you succeed in all you do, in all you do!
Life long to you!

Katisha: Your revels cease!
Assist me, all of you!

Chorus: Why, who is this whose evil eyes
Rain blight on our festivities?

Katisha: I claim my perjured lover, Nanki-Poo!
Oh fool to shun delight that never cloy!

Chorus: Go leave thy deadly work undone.

K: Come back, oh, shallow fool,
Come back to joy.

Chorus: Away, away, ill-favored one!

K: No, you shall not go.
These arms shall thus enfold you.

Yum-Yum: Away nor prosecute your quest,
From our intention, well expressed, you cannot turn us!
The state of your connubial views
Towards the person you accuse does not concern us!

For he's going to marry Yum-Yum (Chorus: Yum-Yum!)
Your anger pray bury, for all will be merry!
I think you had better succumb (Chorus: Cumb-cumb!)
And join our expressions of glee.

On this subject I pray you be dumb (Chorus: Dumb-dumb!)
You'll find there are many who'll wed for a penny
The word for your guidance is "Mum!" (Chorus: Mum-mum!)
There's lots of good fish in the sea!

Chorus: On this subject we pray you'll be dumb, dumb-dumb,
We think you had better succumb, cumb-cumb,
You'll find there are many who'll wed for a penny
Who'll wed for a penny.
There's lots of good fish in the sea.
There are lots of good fish in the sea,
In the sea, in the sea, in the sea!

Katisha: Oh, faithless one, this insult you shall rue.
In vain for mercy on your knees you'll sue!
I'll tear the mask from your disguising!
Prepare yourselves for news surprising.

Nanki-Poo: How foil my foe?

Katisha: No minstrel he, despite bravado.
He is the son of your --
Chorus: O nn! Bikkuri shakkuri to!
K: In vain you interrupt with this tornado.
He is the only son of your --
Chorus: O nn! Bikkuri shakkuri to!
K: I'll spoil --
Chorus: O nn! Bikkuri shakkuri to!
K: -- your gay gambado! He is the son --
Chorus: O nn! Bikkuri shakkuri to!
K: -- of your --
Chorus: O nn! Bikkuri shakkuri to!
K: -- the son of your --

Chorus: O nn! Bikkuri shakkuri to! Oh! Oh!
We'll hear no more, ill-omened owl,
To joy we soar despite your scowl!
The echoes of our festival
Shall rise triumphant over all.

Katisha: Prepare for woe, ye haughty lords,
At once I'll go, Mikado-wards.

Yum-Yum: We do not heed their dismal sound
Ko-Ko: For joy reigns everywhere around.
YY: We do not heed their dismal sound
Both: For joy reigns everywhere around.

Chorus and soloists: The echoes of our festival
Shall rise triumphant over all.
We'll hear no more, ill-omened owl,
To joy we soar despite your scowl!
Triumphant over all.

Katisha: My wrongs with vengeance shall be crowned!

Chorus: We do not heed their dismal sound,
For joy reigns everywhere around.
Track Name: Braid the Raven Hair
CHORUS
Braid the raven hair --
Weave the supple tress --
Deck the maiden fair,
In her lovlieness --
Paint the pretty face --
Dye the coral lip --
Emphasize the grace
Of her ladyship
Art and nature, thus allied,
Go to make a pretty bride.
Art and nature, thus allied,
Go to make a pretty bride.

PITTI-SING
Sit with downcast eye --
Let it brim with dew --
Try if you can cry --
We will do so, too.
When you're sumoned, start
Like a frightened roe --
Flutter, little heart,
Colour, come and go!
Modesty at marriage-tide
Well becomes a pretty bride!
Modesty at marriage-tide
Well becomes a pretty bride!

CHORUS
Braid the raven hair --
Weave the supple tress --
Deck the maiden fair,
In her lovlieness --
Paint the pretty face --
Dye the coral lip --
Emphasize the grace
Of her ladyship
Art and nature, thus allied,
go to make a pretty bride.
Art and nature, thus allied,
go to make a pretty bride.
Track Name: The Sun, whose rays are all ablaze
The Sun whose rays are all ablaze with ever living glory
Does not deny his majesty, he scorns to tell a story
He don't exclaim "I blush for shame" so kindly be indulgent
But fierce and bold in fiery gold, he glories all effulgent

I mean to rule the earth as he the sky
We really know our worth, the Sun and I
I mean to rule the earth as he the sky
We really know our worth, the Sun and I

Observe her flame that placid dame the Moon's Celestial Highness
There's not a trace upon her face of diffidence or shyness
She borrows light that through the night, mankind may all acclaim her
And truth to tell, she lights up well so I for one don't blame her

Ah pray make no mistake, we are not shy
We're very wide awake, the Moon and I
Ah pray make no mistake, we are not shy
We're very wide awake, the Moon and I
Track Name: Brightly dawns our wedding day
Yum-Yum: Brightly dawns our wedding day;

All:
Joyous hour, we give thee greeting!
Whither, whither art thou fleeting?
Fickle moment, prithee stay!
Fickle moment, prithee stay!

Pish-Tush: What though mortal joys be hollow?

Pitti-Sing: Pleasures come, if sorrows follow!

Yum-Yum:
Though the tocsin sound,
ere long,

Though the tocsin sound,
ere long
Though the tocsin sound,
ere long.
Ding dong!
Ding dong!
Nanki-Poo:
Though the tocsin sound,
ere long,
ere long,
Though the tocsin,
sound, ere long,
sound, ere long.

Ding dong!
Ding dong!
Pitti-Sing & Pish-Tush:
Though the tocsin sound,
ere long,
Ding
dong! Ding dong!
Ding
dong! Ding dong!

Ding dong!
Ding dong!

All:
Yet until the shadows fall
Over one and over all,

Yum-Yum: Sing a merry madrigal,

All:
Sing a merry madrigal,
Sing a merry madrigal,
Fa la la la la, etc.
(Ending in tears)

Yum-Yum: Let us dry the ready tear,

All:
Though the hours are surely creeping
Little need for woeful weeping,
Till the sad sundown is near,
Till the sad sundown is near.

Pish-Tush: All must sip the cup of sorrow —

Pitti-Sing: I to-day and thou to-morrow.

Yum-Yum:
This the close of
every song,

This the close of
every song
This the close of
every song,
Ding dong!
Ding dong!
Nanki-Poo:
This the close of
every,
every song,
This the close of
every song,
this the close.

Ding dong!
Ding dong!
Pitti-Sing & Pish-Tush:
This the close of
every song,
Ding
dong! Ding dong!
Ding
dong! Ding dong!

Ding dong!
Ding dong!


All:
What, though solemn shadows fall,
Sooner, later, over all?

Yum-Yum: Sing a merry madrigal,

All:
Sing a merry madrigal,
Sing a merry madrigal,
Fa la la la la, etc.
(Ending in tears)
[Exeunt Pitti-Sing & Pish-Tush]
Track Name: Here's a how-de-do
Yum-Yum:
Here's a how-de-do!
If I marry you,
When your time has come to perish,
Then the maiden whom you cherish
Must be slaughtered, too!
Here's a how-de-do!
Here's a how-de-do!

Nanki-Poo:
Here's a pretty mess!
In a month, or less,
I must die without a wedding!
Let the bitter tears I'm shedding
Witness my distress,
Here's a pretty mess!
Here's a pretty mess!

Ko-Ko:
Here's a state of things
To her life she clings!
Matrimonial devotion
Doesn't seem to suit her notion--
Burial it brings!
Here's a state of things!
Here's a state of things!

Yum-Yum & Nanki-Poo:
With a passion that's intense
I worship and adore,
But the laws of common sense
We oughtn't to ignore.
If what he says is true,
'Tis death to marry you!
Here's a pretty state of things!
Here's a pretty how-de-do!
Here's a pretty state of things!
A pretty state of things!

Ko-Ko:
With a passion that's intense
You worship and adore,
But the laws of common sense
You oughtn't to ignore.
If what I say is true,
'Tis death to marry you!
Here's a pretty state of things!
Here's a pretty how-de-do!
Here's a pretty state of things!
A pretty state of things!

Yum-Yum: Here's a how-de-do!
Nanki-Poo: Here's a how-de-do!
Ko-Ko: Here's a how-de-do!

Yum-Yum & Nanki-Poo:
For if what he says is true,
I cannot, cannot marry you,
Here's a pretty, pretty state of things!
Here's a pretty how-de-do!

Ko-Ko:
For if what he says is true,
He cannot, cannot marry you,
Here's a pretty, pretty state of things!
Here's a pretty how-de-do!
Track Name: Mi-ya-sa-ma
Chorus:
Miya sama, miya sama,
On n'm-ma no mayé ni
Pira-Pira suru no wa
Nan gia na
Toko tonyaré tonyaré na?

Miya sama, miya sama,
On n'm-ma no mayé ni
Pira-Pira suru no wa
Nan gia na
Toko tonyaré tonyaré na?

Mikado:
From every kind of man
Obedience I expect;
I'm the Emperor of Japan —

Katisha:
And I'm his daughter-in-law elect!
He'll marry his son
(He's only got one)
To his daughter-in-law elect!

Mikado:
My morals have been declared
Particularly correct;

Katisha:
But they're nothing at all, compared
With those of his daughter-in-law elect!
Bow — Bow —
To his daughter-in-law elect!

Chorus:
Bow — Bow —
To his daughter-in-law elect!

Mikado:
In a fatherly kind of way
I govern each tribe and sect,
All cheerfully own my sway —

Katisha:
Except his daughter-in-law elect!
As tough as a bone,
With a will of her own,
Is his daughter-in-law elect!

Mikado:
My nature is love and light —
My freedom from all defect —

Katisha:
Is insignificant quite,
Compared with his daughter-in-law elect!
Bow — Bow —
To his daughter-in-law elect!

Chorus:
Bow — Bow —
To his daughter-in-law elect!
Track Name: A more humane Mikado
Mikado:
A more humane Mikado never
Did in Japan exist,
To nobody second,
I'm certainly reckoned
A true philanthropist.
It is my very humane endeavour
To make, to some extent,
Each evil liver
A running river
Of harmless merriment.

My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!

All prosy dull society sinners,
Who chatter and bleat and bore,
Are sent to hear sermons
From mystical Germans
Who preach from ten till four.
The amateur tenor, whose vocal villainies
All desire to shirk,
Shall, during off-hours,
Exhibit his powers
To Madame Tussaud's waxwork.

The lady who dyes a chemical yellow
Or stains her grey hair puce,
Or pinches her figure,
Is blacked like a nigger ["Is painted with vigour" often used as a politically correct alternative]
With permanent walnut juice.
The idiot who, in railway carriages,
Scribbles on window-panes,
We only suffer
To ride on a buffer
In Parliamentary trains.

My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!

Chorus:
His object all sublime
He will achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!

Mikado:
The advertising quack who wearies
With tales of countless cures,
His teeth, I've enacted,
Shall all be extracted
By terrified amateurs.
The music-hall singer attends a series
Of masses and fugues and "ops"
By Bach, interwoven
With Spohr and Beethoven,
At classical Monday Pops.

The billiard sharp who any one catches,
His doom's extremely hard —
He's made to dwell —
In a dungeon cell
On a spot that's always barred.
And there he plays extravagant matches
In fitless finger-stalls
On a cloth untrue
With a twisted cue
And elliptical billiard balls!

My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!

Chorus:
His object all sublime
He will achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!
Track Name: The criminal cried as he dropped him down
Ko-Ko:
The criminal cried, as he dropped him down,
In a state of wild alarm -
With a frightful, frantic, fearful frown,
I bared my big right arm.
I seized him by his little pig-tail,
And on his knees fell he,
As he squirmed and struggled,
And gurgled and guggled,
I drew my snickersnee,
My snickersnee!

Oh, never shall I
Forget the cry,
Or the shriek that shrieked he,
As I gnashed my teeth,
When from its sheath
I drew my snickersnee!

Chorus:
We know him well,
He cannot tell
Untrue or groundless tales —
He always tries
To utter lies,
And every time he fails.

Pitti-Sing:
He shivered and shook as he gave the sign
For the stroke he didn't deserve;
When all of a sudden his eye met mine,
And it seemed to brace his nerve;
For he nodded his head and kissed his hand,
And he whistled an air, did he,
As the sabre true
Cut cleanly through
His cervical vertebrae,
His vertebrae!

When a man's afraid,
A beautiful maid
Is a cheering sight to see;
And it's oh, I'm glad
That moment sad
Was soothed by sight of me!

Chorus:
Her terrible tale
You can't assail,
With truth it quite agrees:
Her taste exact
For faultless fact
Amounts to a disease.

Pooh-Bah:
Now though you'd have said that head was dead
(For its owner dead was he),
It stood on its neck, with a smile well-bred,
And bowed three times to me!
It was none of your impudent off-hand nods,
But as humble as could be;
For it clearly knew
The deference due
To a man of pedigree,
Of pedigree!

And it's oh, I vow,
This deathly bow
Was a touching sight to see;
Though trunkless, yet
It couldn't forget
The deference due to me!

Chorus:
This haughty youth,
He speaks the truth
(p)Whenever he finds it pays:
And in this case
It all took place
Exactly as he says!
Exactly, exactly, exactly,
Exactly as he says!
Track Name: See how the fates their gifts allot
Mikado:
See how the Fates their gifts allot,
For A is happy — B is not.
Yet B is worthy, I dare say,
Of more prosperity than A!

Ko-Ko, Pooh-Bah & Pitti-Sing:
Is B more worthy?

Katisha:
I should say
He's worth a great deal more than A.

All:
Yet A is happy!
Oh, so happy!
Laughing, Ha! ha!
Chaffing, Ha! ha!
Nectar quaffing, Ha! ha! ha!
Ever joyous, ever gay,
Happy, undeserving A!
Ever joyous, ever gay,
Happy, undeserving A!

Ko-Ko, Pooh-Bah & Pitti-Sing:
If I were Fortune — which I'm not —
B should enjoy A's happy lot,
And A should die in miserie —
That is, assuming I am B.

Mikado & Katisha:
But should A perish?

Ko-Ko, Pooh-Bah & Pitti-Sing:
That should be
(Of course, assuming I am B).

All:
B should be happy!
Oh, so happy!
Laughing, Ha! ha!
Chaffing, Ha! ha!
Nectar quaffing, Ha! ha! ha!
But condemned to die is he,
Wretched meritorious B!
But condemned to die is he,
Wretched meritorious B!
Track Name: The flowers that bloom in the spring
Nanki-Poo:
The flowers that bloom in the spring,
Tra la,
Breathe promise of merry sunshine —
As we merrily dance and we sing,
Tra la,
We welcome the hope that they bring,
Tra la,
Of a summer of roses and wine,
Of a summer of roses and wine.
And that's what we mean when we say that a thing
Is welcome as flowers that bloom in the spring.
Tra la la la la,
Tra la la la la,
The flowers that bloom in the spring.

Yum-Yum, Pitti-Sing, Nanki-Poo & Pooh-Bah:
Tra la la la la,
Tra la la la la,
Tra la la la la la!

Ko-Ko:
The flowers that bloom in the spring,
Tra la,
Have nothing to do with the case.
I've got to take under my wing,
Tra la,
A most unattractive old thing,
Tra la,
With a caricature of a face,
With a caricature of a face.
And that's what I mean when I say, or I sing,
"Oh, bother the flowers that bloom in the spring."
Tra la la la la,
Tra la la la la,
"Oh, bother the flowers of spring."

Yum-Yum, Pitti-Sing, Nanki-Poo & Pooh-Bah:
Tra la la la la,
Tra la la la la,
Tra la la la la la!
Track Name: Alone, and yet alive
Katisha:
Alone, and yet alive! Oh, sepulchre!
My soul is still my body's prisoner!
Remote the peace that Death alone can give —
My doom, to wait! my punishment, to live!

Hearts do not break!
They sting and ache
For old love's sake,
But do not die,
Though with each breath
They long for death
As witnesseth
The living I!
The living I!

Oh, living I!
Come, tell me why,
When hope is gone,
Dost thou stay on?
Why linger here,
Where all is drear?
Oh, living I!
Come, tell me why,
When hope is gone,
Dost thou stay on?
May not a cheated maiden die?
May not a cheated maiden die?
Track Name: Willow, tit willow
Ko-Ko:
On a tree by a river a little tom-tit
Sang "Willow, titwillow, titwillow!"
And I said to him, "Dicky-bird, why do you sit
Singing Willow, titwillow, titwillow'?"
"Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?" I cried,
"Or a rather tough worm in your little inside?"
With a shake of his poor little head, he replied,
"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!"

He slapped at his chest, as he sat on that bough,
Singing "Willow, titwillow, titwillow!"
And a cold perspiration bespangled his brow,
Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!
He sobbed and he sighed, and a gurgle he gave,
Then he plunged himself into the billowy wave,
And an echo arose from the suicide's grave —
"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!"

Now I feel just as sure as I'm sure that my name
Isn't Willow, titwillow, titwillow,
That 'twas blighted affection that made him exclaim
"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!"
And if you remain callous and obdurate, I
Shall perish as he did, and you will know why,
Though I probably shall not exclaim as I die,
"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!"
(During this song Katisha has been greatly affected, and at the end is almost in tears.)
Track Name: There is beauty in the bellow of the blast
Katisha:
There is beauty in the bellow of the blast,
There is grandeur in the growling of the gale,
There is eloquent outpouring
When the lion is a-roaring,
And the tiger is a-lashing of his tail!

Ko-Ko:
Yes, I like to see a tiger
From the Congo or the Niger,
And especially when lashing of his tail!

Katisha:
Volcanoes have a splendour that is grim,
And earthquakes only terrify the dolts,
But to him who's scientific
There's nothing that's terrific
In the falling of a flight of thunderbolts!

Ko-Ko:
Yes, in spite of all my meekness,
If I have a little weakness,
It's a passion for a flight of thunderbolts!

Both:
If that is so,
Sing derry down derry!
It's evident, very,
Our tastes are one.
Away we'll go,
And merrily marry,
Nor tardily tarry
Till day is done!

Ko-Ko:
There is beauty in extreme old age —
Do you fancy you are elderly enough?
Information I'm requesting
On a subject interesting:
Is a maiden all the better when she's tough?

Katisha:
Throughout this wide dominion
It's the general opinion
That she'll last a good deal longer when she's tough.

Ko-Ko:
Are you old enough to marry, do you think?
Won't you wait till you are eighty in the shade?
There's a fascination frantic
In a ruin that's romantic;
Do you think you are sufficiently decayed?

Katisha:
To the matter that you mention
I have given some attention,
And I think I am sufficiently decayed.

Both:
If that is so,
Sing derry down derry!
It's evident, very,
Our tastes are one.
Away we'll go,
And merrily marry,
Nor tardily tarry
Till day is done!

If that is so,
Sing derry down derry!
It's evident, very,
Our tastes are one.
Away we'll go,
And merrily marry,
Nor tardily tarry
Till day is done!

Sing derry down derry!
We'll merrily marry,
Nor tardily tarry
Till day is done!
Track Name: Finale Act II
Pitti-Sing: For he's gone and married Yum-Yum —

All: Yum-Yum!

Pitti-Sing:
Your anger pray bury,
For all will be merry,
I think you had better succumb —

All: Cumb — cumb.

Pitti-Sing: And join our expressions of glee!

Ko-Ko: On this subject I pray you be dumb —

All: Dumb — dumb!

Ko-Ko:
Your notions, though many,
Are not worth a penny,
The word for your guidance is "Mum" —

All: Mum — Mum!

Ko-Ko: You've a very good bargain in me.

All:
On this subject we pray you be dumb —
Dumb — dumb!
We think you had better succumb —
Cumb — cumb!
You'll find there are many
Who'll wed for a penny,
Who'll wed for a penny,
There are lots of good fish in the sea,
There are lots of good fish in the sea,
There's lots of good fish, good fish in the sea,
There's lots of good fish, good fish in the sea,
In the sea, in the sea, in the sea, in the sea.

Nanki-Poo: The threatened cloud has passed away,

Yum-Yum: And brightly shines the dawning day;

Nanki-Poo: What though the night may come too soon,

Yum-Yum: We've years and years of afternoon!

Yum-Yum, Peep-Bo, Pitti-Sing, Nanki-Poo, Pooh-Bah &
Pish-Tush:
Then let the throng
(yumyum:then let the throng of joy advance)
Our joy advance,
With laughing song
(yumyum:with laughing song and merry dance)
And merry dance,
Then let the throng
Our joy advance,
With laughing song
And merry dance,
With laughing song
And merry dance,
With laughing song.

With joyous shout,
with joyous shout and ringing cheer,
Inaugurate, inaugurate their new career!
With joyous shout and ringing cheer,
Inaugurate their new career!
With joyous shout and ringing cheer,
Inaugurate their new career!
With laughing song and merry dance,
With laughing song and merry dance,
With song and dance!